


shut up

by cloudykozume



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Crying, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurities, M/M, fluff at the end, insecure atsumu, kita is there for a second, kiyoomi is an idiot, osamu is good brother, sakuatsu if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:22:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24218086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudykozume/pseuds/cloudykozume
Summary: “Shut up!”Two words that Atsumu absolutely despised. He doesn’t mind when they’re said in a playful manner, hell, he’s told Osamu to shut up more times than he can count. It’s just when the person saying the words actually means it, like they don’t want to hear what he has to say and they let him know.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 522





	shut up

“Shut up!”

Two words that Atsumu absolutely despised. He doesn’t mind when they’re said in a playful manner, hell, he’s told Osamu to shut up more times than he can count. It’s just when the person saying the words actually means it, like they don’t want to hear what he has to say and they let him know.

Atsumu hates being told to shut up. It wasn’t always like this, he used to just brush it off and continue with his loud behavior, because that’s who he was at heart. Atsumu Miya was loud.

He was loud and hyper, everyone knew that fact. Even if you didn’t know him, just by looking at his bleached hair and his wide eyes, you could tell that he was loud. He was the complete opposite of Osamu. Osamu tend to keep to himself, only letting himself go when Atsumu convinced him to.

But Osamu never got scolded, he never got yelled at, he never got punished, he never got told to shut up. Because he was obedient and respectful, and Atsumu... wasn’t. He was a rule breaker, he was a trouble maker, and to him that was perfectly fine.

But to his surrounding adults, it was not.

“Atsumu, you’re disrupting the class!”

“Atsumu, pay attention!”

“Just shut up!”

You could tell him to “keep it down” or “quiet down” and Atsumu wouldn’t listen, but if you said “shut up” he went silent. Sometimes he wouldn’t talk for days.

~

When he was eight he went to a local farmers market with Osamu and their mother. Atsumu dragged his brother to go buy strawberries because they were his absolute favorite, he could eat them everyday and never get sick of them. As he ran through the isles of the market, he ended up tripping, crashing into a stand of different kinds of fruits.

The fruits came falling down, smashing on the ground, they were now inedible. Atsumu winced as he was yanked up by the collar of his shirt. An old women with pure fury in her eyes was yelling at him, and shaking him so violently that he was starting to get dizzy.

Osamu ran off to find their mother as Atsumu cried. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” 

“Shut up! You’re a little brat who needs to be disciplined! You ruined my hard work, I hope you’re happy!”

Atsumu didn’t get his strawberries that day.

~

Another thing about Atsumu: he loved to laugh. He laughed at almost everything, maybe he laughed a little too much at the most inappropriate times. And it wasn’t just a small chuckle, it was a loud, boisterous laugh. He would smile so wide, the corners of his eyes would crinkle ever so slightly, and his face would go completely red. 

That’s just how he was, and everyone didn’t seem to care. Until he hit middle school. There was this group of kids that despised Atsumu, they loathed him and he never understood why.

“God Miya, your laugh is so annoying!”

“Just shut up!”

Atsumu began working on a fake laugh after that day, a calmer one. He didn’t smile so brightly and his eyes didn’t crinkle. Osamu was quick to notice.

“Oi, what’s that matter with you?” He had asked one day. They were walking home from school and Atsumu had tested out his new laugh when Osamu told him a really bad joke.

“What are you talking about?” Busted. 

Osamu gave him his “don’t act fucking stupid” look and Atsumu laughed again. His fake one, not the real one, never the real one.

“Nothing, ‘Samu. I’m fine.”

Bullshit, Osamu thought. But he didn’t press any farther.

~

“‘Tsumu, please say something!” Osamu practically begs. Atsumu doesn’t look at him, he just tosses another ball into the air, ready to serve.

Kita had told him to shut up, the words slipped out before he could stop himself. He didn’t mean to say them, but Atsumu was being very obnoxious that day, Kita was stressed and he was tired. He just wanted a little bit a quiet but that was difficult when he had an overgrown child as his setter. 

“Kita-saaaaan!” He whined, Kita nearly bursted the ball he was holding.

“Miya, will you just shut up for a second?!”

Atsumu cringes at the memory and ends up hitting the ball too hard, it’s out. He sighs and goes to get another ball out of the cart, but Osamu grabs his wrist with no intent of letting him go.

“Let me go please.” 

“No.”

“Please.”

“No.”

Atsumu stands there for a while, there’s a crack in his cool facade, it’s not a big one. It’s barely noticeable. It’s the lack of light in his eyes.

“He told me to shut up, ‘Samu.” His voice cracked when he said his name. “He even called me Miya.”

Osamu pulls Atsumu in to his arms and they just stand there for a little bit. “He’s been really stressed lately, ‘Tsumu. You know he would never wanna hurt you on purpose.”

Atsumu doesn’t say anything, he just tries to belive his brothers words.

~

Atsumu’s life was going pretty damn well. He was a member of the Black Jackals, he had amazing friends, a stable income, warm meals, and a roof over his head. He had it all. 

But most importantly, he hadn’t been told to shut up in over three months. So yeah, he basically had it made. Everyone on the team knew about what not to say around him, and he was grateful, they all respected his insecurities and never poked fun at them. They all knew to never ever tell him to shut up.

But apparently Sakusa Kiyoomi didn’t get the memo.

Not being told to shut up really boosted Atsumu’s confidence and that wasn’t a bad thing, not at all. In fact, it was amazing. The team really benefited from this. But it also meant that Atsumu would tease and provoke, he was extremely loud. And Kiyoomi didn’t do well with loud.

“Miya, will you just shut up?” He didn’t yell at him, he didn’t even look at him.

And somehow that hurt Atsumu a lot more. His shoulders slumped down and his eyes got gloomy, but he still had that fake smile on his face. A smile that he had perfected in high school when Kita left.

“You really wound me, Omi-kun!” 

He left the gym without another word, ignoring the looks from Hinata and Bokuto. They were worried, really worried.

“Omi-san, why would you say that?” Hinata sounds kind of mad, that was definitely new to Kiyoomi.

Kiyoomi shrugs. “Say what, shut up? Miya’s a big boy I’m pretty sure he can handle it.” 

Hinata doesn’t look amused at all. Bokuto speaks up this time. “You don’t know, do you?” 

Kiyoomi shakes his head. “Know what?”

Bokuto walks closer to Kiyoomi, making sure not to overstep his boundaries. “Every since ‘Tsumu was little, he’s been the loud energetic kid-“

“Yeah figured as much.” Kiyoomi chuckles, putting on his mask.

Bokuto gives him a look. “I’m being serious. Being loud meant that people would always give you attention. ‘Tusmu never minded it until the attention starting getting bad. He would get picked on and he was constantly being told to shut up.”

“There was this lady that even grabbed him and shook him because he knocked over some fruit.” Hinata piped in.

Kiyoomi was starting to realize his mistake. There was that familiar feeling in his stomach, a feeling that he would get when Atsumu would move to close to him, or when he smiled a bit to brightly. The feeling would be overwhelming some days, so he did the only thing he knew how to do, he pushed Atsumu away. 

Now he’s not sure if it was a good idea.

“I gotta go.” He said before actually running out of the gym.

Kiyoomi felt like shit. Atsumu was constantly respecting his boundaries, he was so respectful and understanding and what did Kiyoomi do as a thanks? He couldn’t even respect his one rule. He betrayed the trust that they had slowly built up. 

The apartment complex that all the Black Jackals were currently living at came into view. He ran up the stairs so fast, he didn’t even know he could run at that speed. He wasn’t considering the amount of germs on the railing or how exhausted he was, the only thing on Kiyoomi’s mind was Atsumu.

When he got to Atsumu’s room he pounded on the door a little bit harder than he should’ve. 

“Who is it?” A deadpan voice came from the other side of the door.

“Sakusa.”

There was a few moments of silence and Kiyoomi thought Atsumu may have died in the span of a view seconds because never a million years did Atsumu think that Kiyoomi would be coming to his apartment.

“My apartment isn’t clean.” 

“I don’t care, let me in Atsumu.”

Atsumu. He didn’t say Miya, why didn’t he say Miya? Kiyoomi didn’t even know why he called him by his given name, he’s never done that before. But saying his name felt natural, like he should’ve been saying it all this time.

After a few more seconds of silence, the door opened. Atsumu’s eyes were red, that’s the first thing Kiyoomi noticed. The next thing he noticed was that Atsumu was smiling. It was as fake as it could be.

“Drop the act, ‘Tusmu.”

Atsumu did, his smile went away in the blink of an eye and he broke down. He let himself cry and before Kiyoomi knew it, he was moving in the apartment.

His mind was screaming at him, telling him that this place was filthy, there are germs everywhere, he hasn’t showered yet, you’re going to be touching him. 

He ignored every single comment and hugged Atsumu. He hugged him. And even though he was shocked, Atsumu hugged him back and he cried. He cried so hard.

Kiyoomi was scared that he didn’t even feel the least bit sick when he felt Atsumu’s hot tears soaking his t-shirt. Why wasn’t he grossed out? Why was he ok with this?

“I’m sorry.” 

It wasn’t much but it was the most genuine apology that Atsumu had ever heard.

“It’s ok.”

And it was, it was so ok.


End file.
